the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
