he thought i was a dude.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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