My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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