Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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