sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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