If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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