too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My vagina is very pro this idea
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I yelled at your uterus for you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
