I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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