I'm jealous of your bromance
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
