Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize