That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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