I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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