And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
worst night to have a conscience
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
