You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
