Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
