I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
