if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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