your room smells of hookers.
And success
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
