Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
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The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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