You really coming over, don't trick.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So vagazzling was a success
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
