so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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