O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
