I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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