Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
