So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
