I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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