I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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