only if we run a train.
done.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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