my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
