It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize