i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
