that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
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He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
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I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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