I want to walk on stilts...naked
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize