I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize