Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
