i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize