how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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