hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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