I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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