I want to make a zoo with you.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
