He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
