dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
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