we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
