Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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