She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Hippo gnu deer
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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