I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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