i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
