We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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