so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Less talking, more tequila
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
