she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
