My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
