I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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