Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize