Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
