Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
