okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
