just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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