I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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