Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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