I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
