I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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