I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
